A LONELY vALENTINE

For My friends who love their girls and women.

It's Valentine day today. Still many of us haven't even wished our her. Many don't have time. Stop here. Grab your phone. Say her, "I love you." Let her know how much u care for her. Girls always appreciate the small gifts of life. know that the flowers u bring her, the chocolate you feed her, the sunrise she sees from your arms, the ice cream she sulks for, a walk with you in evening, a naughty stolen kiss on the cheek to say that u love her, a gentle and hard hug, these little things give her the purest joy of her life -- if she really loves you.. They make her happy much more than a BMW or an entire island. and you don’t need to be millionaire to give her these things, do you?don't steal the small moments of her life for a big day. Let her feel that u love to be with her, that she matters, n being with her really makes u happy. I understand this is cruel, bitchy world. But that's why you she is so precious-- she is the one who loves unconditionally in the world where no body gives a sheet about. she is the one who shares your pain before you could feel it. Don't let her go. call her 10 times in a day to tell you love her. scold her when she eats ice-cream in cold and doesn't listen to you. Show her you are little jealous when she talks to a boy. Send her kisses. Talk to her. Listen to her without interruption. Protect her. Let her know that she is the best thing that ever happened to you. And above all -- JUST LOVE HER. WITHOUT ANY CONDITION. JUST LOVE HER. Because once she is gone, you will be all alone, filled with regret, wishing her to come back. But she never will.

Don't make a mistake that i did -- or still doing -- Remember what Sanjana says in AN Angel and A Star: "You don't need the world to make it as a person. you just need a person to make it as a world."
Don't let that creep

y silnce haunt you that screams in my ear. Be the one who can take care of someone, whom someone can care for. Hold her hand. say her, "I love You."
We don't appreacite the things thta we have. But don't wait to know her value untill you have lost her. What she needs is you, your love, your company, your protection. Only two things can make your life magical in this cruel practical world: Dreams, and a girl who loves you. Have a magical life.

Dedicated to all those pretty girls, whose boys and men show up insensitive. Please forgive them. Teach them to love. Wiah you all happy valentine day.

My confession to myeself : INSIGHTS

“Great dreamers, dreams are never fulfilled, their always transcendent”
by Alford Lord Whitehead.

they always ask me, " don't get bored alone?"
and i always reply, " does anyone ever get bored alone?"

there was a time i hated to be alone -- i still do, sometimes. but this solitude has given me the best thing ver. it has given me tthe chance to stop, think, analyze, and revert at my life. It took me three years, 7 broken relationship, many annoyed friedns, sapration with my parents(most devastating), and lot to to know why i behaved the way i behaved.

over the week i am going to share those insight with you. i request you that when you read those insights, don't take them as mine. read them as you have written them for yourselves. like they are your own confession to yourselves. take a break form evrything for 10 minutes. sit alone with your coffee or tea, read these cofessional insights,and feel as you read evry line. think you have written them. these the simplest, most beautiful, truest emotions you are going to share with yourself.


I sit alone in my room here, too dark and these insights hit me:

I remember how truly and passionately I wanted to do the things when I was young. How anything, the simple butterfly, the ice cream, the movie, the camera, a carnival could excite me. how I used to do the thing so passionately. HR told me the answer why I can’t do so now. because then I did things because I wanted to do them actually. But now I’m part of the crowd, moving as the world and society wants me to.


Today I realized, why I couldn’t love others. Because I could never love myself. I could never feel good. I could never care for my desire, how could I do for others’. I wanted to be approved by people. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be liked. I always cared what others thought of me. always thought, do people really care for me? I never paused for the thought, whether I came from myself?
I couldn’t care for what I thought. I could never care what I care. I never thought what I thought.
I always wanted people’s approval. Although, what matters is self approval. It sounded like a jar was talking about me.




Riyaj was telling something about life to his father. And his father yelled. I knew he would not understand Riyaj’s words. his ego would never let him accept that his son was teaching him something. our ego, our own opinions, own rules and customs, we are so full of them. How could we accent anything new?


Now I would not say too much to any. but now, whenever I speak that would be sarcastic, like all the time I'm complaining to myself.


In this hardcore sex world, I'm losing connection with myself. or have I lost myself?

BETWEEN FEAR AND FAITH

I have been wanting to propose her for last four years. i always get out of my classes and stand on gate to see her. but i could never dare to tell her what i feel about her. isn't it it the most difficult thing to tell someone how much we love her, that we really care, you really matter in my life. how tough it is to express your genuine feelings! but congratulate me: i managed to befriend her last year. and since then it has been much difficult for me to say it. what if she said no? fear has always been more epidemic and dominating than faith. and in my case too, my fear was greater than my faith.
and now she is long gone, with the boy who said it. i m here: alone, regretful, wishing if i had just one chance.the same way, before a year, i wanted to nominate myself in the college cricket cricket team. i didn't. what if i failed; they'll laugh at me.

but all those things don't work in practical world, right? we have be rational in life, right?
here i pass by red shining BMW. suddenly my heart pops a comment(as it always does): ‘I believe the owner of the car is a fool. The car could always be new, ravishing and shiny, if the owner doesn’t take it out on road, but keeps it home as his bungalow’s monument.’
‘What rubbish!’ I smirked. ‘The car is not the thing to be a showcase. It’s meant for running on road.’
‘Exactly,’ my heart bumped with excited happiness in my chest; so loud that I suspect people could see and hear it beating over my shirt. ‘The car is not mean to be in a showcase. The owner knows his lovely car will get scratched, get bumped and banged, it can crash too; but he gets it on the road, because the car is meant to be driven on road. Its purpose is to run, to drive, to get hit, to break down, and be repaired again to get back to performance: to drive, to run, to chase, to beat, to win.’
My brows twisted. I knew what my heart (who always ridiculed and conflicted me) was getting at. ‘Our life is that for too. It’s not for playing safe, hiding and being a showcase. It’s meant to take risk,’ he turned his head at the setting sun, which was half down under the buildings. ‘To go, to try, to fall, to fear, to risk, to be sad, to be depressed and hurt, and then again to hope, to dream, to believe, to risk, to perform, to chase, to fly, to win, to make dreams come true. It’s all about finding yourself and reaching your destiny.’

‘Tell you what; it’s just an excuse you’re giving to console yourself and to give explanation to others.’
I put hand on my chest. Yes, my heart is right. If you raised finger on this topic, I will come up with several other reasons for not pursuing your dreams. I have prepared a list of explanation. I have got thousands of reasons for not doing it, but a single excuse to do it. I have fear – the fear of being wrong, the fear of pain and cost to get what I want, the fear to lose what I have, the fear of success that people would be envious and criticize me.

Listen to my voice, VK,’ My heart pumped with double force. ‘It never lies. You think what people will think about you, if you failed? Don’t care about them. They won’t like you even when you’ve made it. Don’t listen to them. They’ll always be there to tell you that you can’t do it, because they themselves couldn’t do it. They are never going to help you with your dream. But you have to protect your dream from such people. You can never be happy, if you keep pretending to be something you are not. Get guts to be yourself. The world needs real VK.’

oh, does your heart asks you to go toward your fear and do them? to choose to believe in what you want, not others want you to do? does it too pierces you like this, making you always lonely? that's why you don't want to stay alone, no? it bothers you. it raises doubt on relationship with yourself and others. it makes you feel guilty. does it always do so, my dear friend?

The Man Who Shadowed Me: A tribute to fatherhood

I told you about Lucky, my two and half year old cousin, my hero.

today i saw something that stuck me so hard.
my uncle(Lucky's father) was washing fish before cooking it. they the cheap, fished ones. Lucky was all around his father, calling him, helping him, excited, energetic. seeing him made me wonder: what was making him so excited about that job? was he excited because he was a kid, and was curios to see something new? Nay.
he was excited about fish washing job, because his father was doing that.
I could bet even if the he was called to ice cream or chocolate factory, or was taken to build the next spaceship, he would never go. That wasn't what his father doing.

For every kid, by the age of 5-6, his father is the hero of the world -- must have yours too, or still is: the strongest, most powerful, most intelligent person of the world, who can do anything. -- to that child everything that his father says is the divine truth. if his father taught him 2+2=6, then he is going to believe that. if teacher says 2+2=4 then she is crazy, fool; his father told him something else. I thought my papa knows all the answers of the all the questions in the world. he was my hero.

but then i grew up. i couldn't agree too everything he said. now is the case that we are pols apart. i pine his approval and he pines mine. both know its not possible, so prefer not to talk.

I understand how tough it is to be an ideal father: perhaps, the most difficult task in the world for the man.
No matter what i Achieve in my life,the proudest day of my life would be when my son turns 20 and you ask him, "who is your ideal? Who do you want to become like?" and he, despite all the great souls like SRK, Ambani, Gates, Gandhi, or Lincon, answers: "I want to be like my papa." And when my Daughter says: "My husband should be like my papa." just the thought of it makes me so proud and revert back at my life. hope my son doesn't look down at me, and my Daughter never hesitates to share her gossips with me when they grow young. Amen

the inignorable

here i collect my 110th rejection slip. now i feel like quitting it. had been two and half years,. my friends have secured healthy jobs and slim girlfriends. they all feel i am following a crazy, unattainable dream.now i feel so. but then i look back and consider what i have gained and lost on this path. was it worth? yes, it was. i see at these people SRK, JK Rowling, Mark, Dan Brown, Ambani. they all have had a thousand failures behind their each success.

so now i want rise, i want to give it another shot. let my friends say what theysay: crazy, fool, stupid.let them laugh. Read in his biography that the Broke and angry SRK made a comment, "one day i'll rule over this city(Mumbai)." his friend laughed loudly over that, saying, "Shut up. don't talk shit." every great man was laughed at once before they revered them.

never heard a story that someone reached out to his best, dedicated evry drop of his blood and depth of his herart to something, went crazy after that, and nevr succeeded in that.

yes, life does behave bitchy, but it always gives in to bulls.
let's give it another try at what you wanted for so long but failed. push the setbacks. make your way. and one day you will find that people laughing on you are looking at your photos and asking, "how the hell did he make it?"

Who killed the dreamer inside me?

Lucky is my hero. my toddler cousin, two and half years old. but observing him always makes me feel motivated. he is one of the most lively buddy i have ever seen on the earth. what seduces me is his drive, his passion, his energy towards life, to make the best out of every moment. he teaches me about the power of simplicity. he always lives on the edge -- well doesn't every kid? -- daredevil, dreaming, howling, jumping, curious.

makes me look fall down on my chair and look back toward the life i have lived so far. to compare what was i and what i have become.
then i found that i too was like lucky, somewhere. makes me believe that we all have changed. we are not at all the way we were.
as a kid i was dreamer. i believed everything was possible for me. i wanted to be a scientist (my brother wanted to be a chef, wow, my friends wanted to be Pilates, actor, superman). but then i started growing. my parents and society appealed me not to be kiddish (don't we all have a strong desire to always remain kid?) when i stubbornly stood my ground for the things i wanted. then i too started falling into the process of self-crimination, and self-victimization. i too believed that life doesn’t work that way. mature and responsible people don't dream and stick to them (or they will be called selfish), they get practical. i m following the same path of real life practicality: I’ll get a real job, earn money, collect sympathy and wow-wow of the society, get married, screw my wife, screw those who screwed me, breed kids, then screw them by not letting them follow their dreams and controlling their lives (because my parents did the same), get old and curse my fate, make excuse and boast (to shun my bloody heart and feel special), then die all unsatisfied full of regret, always hating and never forgiving others or myself.

I know lucky wont be the same after ten years from now on. he will be like me too: loser, spent, guilty -- screwed.
he will see other Lucky and wish may he be like that kid. maybe he'll blog too -- with more anger and hatred.

The question is who gives me the right to snatch away a dreamer from the world by allowing me to listen to other --not my heart-- and joining the crowd? who gives the right to kill my dreams? who gives me the right to take away the person form the world who could have made the world a far better place to be; the person who could have been the next Einstein, Edison, Leonardo, Shakespeare, Gandhi, Bill Gates, or Mark Zuckenberg? No one

I take stand here and call you out. turn off your, put down the novel you are reading, take your pants on and get off the bed - you too ma'm, please, pause the bowler you are facing and put down your bat, ask the teacher to be quit of your maths lecture. Hold yourself. let's we all come together and protect these kids and their dreams -- I know you too have a killed Lucky buried inside you -- Let No more Lucky die. Take a stand. Ask your father to let your brother go to guitar classes, gift your son a bat and promote him to play cricket(he loves it, no?), get your daughter into drama classes, ask for the story or poetry your nephew has written (he writes fantastic, no?), Encourage your neighborhood kid to put his painting in the next competition.

Children are the most wonderful thing in the world. they makes this world more bearable for us. they make us smile, laugh, and happy. they give us the hope that life is still beautiful and can be favorable.

Let that child not fall into self-betrayal. protect his dreams. he' ll thank you forever in his life -- and his kids too.

WHO INSPIRES YOU?

here i hit the desk, power on my laptop, ready to blog....ooops!here i stop my fingers n fall into conscious. what should i blog? i want to write something that will be seducing to people. something that i would like to write, something that inspires me.
but here i fall into another level of conscious: dude, what does really inspire me?who inspires me?
and now i want to ask you the same question for my help: What inspires you, sweetheart?Who?
since the time i was born the things that secured a special place in my heart inspired. the idea could be looking confusing to you. but here's my insight: what I'm talking about is being the person you always wanted to be, fancied to be, dreamt to be. what i am saying is 'the idea of being ourselves actually inspires us'
confusing, isn't it?
but take a look at what consist of 'being yourself'. we are always eager, inspired to do the things that touch us deeply. those things, we inspire ourselves.
it's "I" who i understand the least. but easiest way to understand myself is knowing the things that lay at the bottom of my hear.
i give you a call to be the person you actually are; one step ahead: the best of you.
recognize you passion and show up at your office, college, field with supernatural energy.take yourself and your wishes especially. know that you are single masterpiece of god, sent on the earth for a unique purpose. you are the single soul n body in the crowd of billions. the unique one. there's just one of you in world of billions. Doesn't it make you stop, n think. feeling special? you are.
you don't need to copy people to make you mark on the earth. follow your style. people may copy you, but still they will be the second best, n just part of you.ar you thinking? humn...feels like one day i will be striving to get your autograph, n wondering to write a book on you. BADE AADMI HOKE BHUL MAT JANA, BHAI.
Remember what Warren Buffet said, "There will never be a better you than you."

A tribute to Sachin Tendulkar

"Cricket is my religion, and Sachin is my God"

Sachin Tendulkar: the god of cricket.
read his biography last night. seems like he born to create records and break them. you can write a 500 page book just of his records. but some line stuck me: 'it took sachin 79 ODI's to get his first century,' 'Sachin made 7 on 29 balls, and the raged crowd booed him off to pavilion,' 'Sachin fell on his all fours, and Times of India published an article "Endulkar" asking him to be retired.'

just made me put down the book, and wonder, though Sachin has all the success on his name, yet no one has failed as much as Sachin in cricket: 79 ODI's to make his first century! who could have predicted that this little prick was going to hold record of most centuries both in test and ODI cricket? Sachin teaches us to rise through your falls. he symbolizes that success is not measured through how high you go in life, rather by, how many times you bounce back after falling. Thanx Sachin for letting us have those wonderful moments of our life, when we saw you play. Wish you hold all the records of the world on your name.Amen.

my fear

oops. now i wonder why i suddenly pop on facebook and writing all this crap that no one is gonna read.but may be 'coz I got up today n found myself lonely. may i m fed up of being cold n rude. or may be 'coz this thing lets me do what i love to do:WRITE. why suddenly I'm not afraid of revealing myself, may be coz I don't want 2. this facebook thing lets me write how i feel n lets me express it to others.thnx Mark. i m sitting here, alone(n i want to) yet in a way connected 2 all of you. just wondering it had been two years when i entered this room n staying here. i'm growing old, may be maturing, or staling. feels like in next few hours years would pass, n i would find myself standing there where I started: alone, lost, clueless, screwed. yes i fear. but doesn't everyone - everyone who is out there in the world - has the same fear, sweetheart? the fear of dying where You were born!

why people don't follow their dreams

i always wondered why people don't follow their dreams - if anybody knows what his dream is! now it hits me like a thunderbolt of stormy night: they don't follow their dreams 'coz they are afraid of walking this lonely rocky path that goes to dream, and that sight: when you look behind, there's no one. all the people who loved you have left, 'coz you didn't listen to them. the feeling of losing your loved on is most frighting.who wants 2 be alone?

the motionless rush

standing here on terrace, i look out at d city n road. those people, all busy, but having no clue of what they r busy with. all rushing motionless towards d other side of life. looks like this town never slept, or, it never woke up.they all wondering:what 2 do with this unwanted life that god has bestowed upon them.

who lived my life

i m 22. i take a break, stop myself from doing whatever i m doing. i turn n look behind those 22 years, my mind asks who has been living these 22 years in me. they have always been my parents, teachers, friends,girlfriends, society, making me what they expect me 2 do n be, i never had my life;my heart replies.

outliers

Not slept 4 more than four hours in last three days. sitting here for 15 hours at streach. oops. at d enf of d day i feel spend as hell. yet thrs tht smile on my lips, tht satisfaction in my eyes ths tiredness givs tht a billion dollar can't. "why so," i ask my heard. D rascal smiles n says, "coz this is wht u WANT TO DO, baby." I love this tiredness.


saw the list of time 100. most powerful people on the earth--the outliers. still wodering wht seprates them from evry othr!
what do these guys do that i can't do? ooops i got d answr they wrkd. they had courage - plenty of courage; while i had none. saw d diffence, darlin'?

What do U think U have better than others? What is the thing that others don’t have, but U have something more or better.
The thing which is the greatest among all the gifts I have got that ‘the Power of believing myself’. Others think that they can achieve anything. But I believe that anything can be achieved, just the 0nly thing is needed is a DESIRE. There is a thing which r neglected by common people. It’s good to believe yourself but another element which an extra-ordinary winner has is CONFIDENCE in OTHERS. Confused? Yes, to win, U must have confidence in others. The thing U want to achieve, U must be familiar with its properties. Confidence includes all positive & negative or weak points of others. That’s why I say Anything can be achieved.
What is Winning Strategy?
Answer is that- CONFIDECE is the most promising & rewarding method to achieve the goal of SUCCESS. Just have faith in yourself.
The musician, who touches the tight strings of the sitar, produces vibration that lift the spirit. Confidence is the base of a successful personality which magnetizes the success.
Now the question is that, how would U install the element of FAITH in yourself?
So, for that U must have a positive attitude. B’coz anything takes place b’coz something has happened & something hasn’t. Between them U have to choose the positive one. U must have the power & an element of enthusiasm that would bless U with the sense of confidence. Finally putting U on the road of success.
Ur confidence is not only the gateway to success but is also the parameter of Ur successful life.
I’m telling U, anyone, who feels capable of achieving the impossible, will find that God will create ideal condition for his success.
U will be ‘the King of the sky’. U will be the true winner. U will be unstoppable. U will be the one who always ROCKS.

few words with guys

The best lesson I learnt about the people in our life is that- GOD has sent every person in our life with a special purpose, every person to teach us something. And the fact is that one comes in our life and shares the best of our life’s moment with us, he finishes the purpose of his appearance in our life, teaches us something and goes out of our life. No one stays with us forever. It’s your life, it’s your war and you are all alone in this happy-happy world. just think over every aspect practically and move on towards the happy life.
Sometimes books bound us to the limits. This message is for those whose heart doesn’t want to study. Everyone of us has got something very special and unique just exploit that quality. History says that all of the greatest personality, none of them was educated. But they were all genius. They had their own philosophy o life, they didn’t care what people say about them. They lived the way they wanted to. Because they know what they have to do, what they are doing and what they will give to the world. They were all BINnnnnnnnnnnDDDAAASSSSSSSSSS. No one can misjudge your attitude, your future if you are clear about yourself. Let them say what they want. Remember if u are being criticized, then you have started becoming famous, u r on the way to your throne of the king. The person who hasn’t done anything good for themselves how could they criticize your way of approaching someone? These people don’t know anything about the excellence and growth .do u know y these people r ordinary. Because they always want to be the part of mob or crowd. They always gossip about the people who are on their growth path. They just pass their time and the whole life only in talking about others. They always follow the rules which keeps them bounded. They never take risk. They follow they system and be the part of the crowd. but if they don’t then they are free to choose and do what they want. They will become the creator of their own life.

I want to fly

I want to fly, yes I do wanna fly.

I told my friends, my family and love that,
I Have a Passionate desire, to touch the sky
I want to fly, I really wanna fly.

They laughed hard and said back;
“With this stupid desire, you surely gonna die;
Oh my boy, human can’t fly, you won’t fly.

Drifted to sleep, I saw a dream,
God came to me with daughter Sanjana Roy.
He touched my head calling me a toy,
“Oh my son, are you the one? Who wants to fly,
Hi and fi, over the sky.”

I smiled nicely, looking at the spy;
“Yes god, I wanna fly, without wings,
Over the sky, hi and fi.”

He smiled back and said,
“You don’t need wings to dominate the sky,
Men with passionate desire, are not made
For the bed, just to lie.
Here’s my daughter Sanju as the gift for you;
Will be there with you forever and ever,
Being your love and a darling pry,
Encouraging you to high n high,
‘Coz my son, you Are Born to fly,
Hi and fi, over the sky.”

I smiled and came to know,
Only the Sky is designated limit of my;
I want to fly, and I gonna fly.

I feared to share my dreams,
Thinking, people will laugh,
Making my dream, a banged up lie.

But now, I tell everyone my wicked desire,
Without feeling even the bit of shy, that
I want to fly, I really wanna fly.

People still laugh at me,
Calling me, a weird guy;
They say I can’t do it,
I know I will do it,
How are you so bully?
I don’t now why,
But I want to fly, I really wanna fly.
It doesn’t matter how many times I go down,
No matter, how much I bite the dust;
I gonna give it millions of try,
But, I will fly
‘Coz, I wanna fly, I do wanna fly.

I’m not perfect, I know that.
I need to learn a lot,
People laugh at me,
I’m all alone
But I’m made to win;
I’m born to lead;
These are the facts; I can’t deny
And the fact that, I want to fly,
Hi and fi, over the sky.

People regret for the things, they could but they din’t.
On the last day of my life, while counting my last breath;
For the things I wanted to do, but never gave a try,
I don’t want to cry; that’s why,
I want to fly, Do you wanna fly?

I cried while the world rejoiced,
On the day, when I said the world my first Hi;
I want to live my life in the way that,
The world will cry, while I rejoiced,
When I’m giving the world, my final good bye.
I want to fly, I do wanna fly.

Whenever I fall down, and bounce back,
To go back, up in the sky;
This bounce back process teaches me to win.
My Sanju’s touch and sweet smile,
Floods my heart with enormous flow of joy,
Making me go hi and fi.
Over the sky, I want to fly.

My Sanj says that,
I’m meant to be extraordinary,
I’m meant to make a dent in the universe.
She smiles, nibbles my cheeks n says,
“My sweety is the only Ferrari
in the fleet of these Hyundai;
My sweety will fly, my Vicky gonna fly.”

I want to make the world a better place to live in,
I promise you all, without accomplishing this,
I’m not gonna die.
I gonna fly, Hi n fi, over the sky.
‘Coz, I want to fly, I really want to fly

i m alone

want to something on facebook; but wondering should I. I want to share my emotions with my friends, but somewhere the other part of me is stopping me from doing it: what if they dont understand, what if they laughed on me. but should it stop me from expressing myself -- it has always. i never knew when i grew into introvert from an extrovert. but dont we all have this fear-- the fear of telling people how we feel. hasnt it been the toughest thing to tell the person you love that you love her. I see you laughing, playing, enjoying; but isnt there a deep dominating part inside you that wishes may somebody understand you. may there be someone you dont have to pretend to be something that you are not; someone you could express yourself to. why is there this desperate need, this cruel wish to express myself, to share my pain. let it be we all are suffering from this epidemic. there is always that lonely part sitting in your heart that remains untouched, even by the person who love you the most. You are always ALONE, no matter how many friends, how many loves, ho many fans, how many faceboook you have. Happy loneliness!